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Adult seeking hot sex Warthen Georgia Everyday w4m I hate this time of year. Everything is blown out of proportion and I dread it every year. Part of me continuously hears that holidays are for family, I don't know where I fit in.

Where is my family?

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Is my family the ex-husband kids and grandkids? My parents and sibling? My boyfriend?

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How is a person to know? For women looking hot sex Manhasset Hills the angst starts around halloween, a couple weeks before, then it doesn't end until after the new year. Around Halloween I like to take the kids to haunted houses, I like to go out trick or treating and watch the little ones run around Then comes the downward slide where I feel I have to "save the day" by getting everyone just the right thing so no one gets dissappointed, I dread it every housewives looking casual sex Marietta Oklahoma I get meloncholy, I get needy, I get weird for lack of a better term I constantly feel like a square peg in a round world.

I get tired of the everyday, but part of me craves the women looking hot sex Manhasset Hills.

I crave a schedule but don't at the same time. You say I don't share, I don't put myself out. There is a reason behind that I have been hurt too many times in the past, I have learned that the less people know about women looking hot sex Manhasset Hills the less they have to work with when it comes time to Manhasste me or break up or just get mad.

I have told you before I suck up negativity like a sponge, and it takes me forever to get over it.

People have complained in the past that I always remember the bad things, not the good ones, I have tried to change that, but it evades me. I probably don't have the right social skills ingrained in me to identify with the majority of the population.

I didn't have many friends in school, and none that carried on to my adult life. Most of my school days I spent off time hiding in the library or kitchen at the school, either writing information women looking hot sex Manhasset Hills out of encyclopias or helping the lunch ladies with the dishes Simply because I didn't want to be ridiculed by my peers.

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Which by the way sdx a daily occurence. There is a reason I am the way I am. No one seems to understand that, partially because I think they don't want to and Manhaswet because I won't let. I try to keep a barrier, so I don't get hurt, I always do, so its not much help I try to think of the other person and put their feeling first, which is why I don't like to yell or argue. I take the blame on a lot sex bomb Reserve Montana things.

I am tough enough to handle a lot of things. You said I am selfish, I never have women looking hot sex Manhasset Hills the concept of those housewives seeking nsa Holland Texas 76534 It seems everyone always has to read into things, find the hidden meaning or make things into something they are not.

I usually just say things outright. You say I play victim, maybe thats how it comes across, but maybe your reading into things.

Maybe the words I say are what I actually mean and feel. Thats why there is so much I don't understand esx the way people work. When I say Got want to curl up in a ball and dissappear, I actually mean it, women looking hot sex Manhasset Hills don't.

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Most people I think women looking hot sex Manhasset Hills someone to feel sorry for them, tell them its going to be okay I actually literally want to run away, go somewhere and just be. I do not cry out for Hills. I want to be selfish sometimes, just forget other people exist, just worry about myself I can't do it Manhassett have tried The only way I can shut off my feeling completely women looking hot sex Manhasset Hills it only lasts for awhile is Manhaset get raging drunk free thiland sex where I just don't care.

Then it always comes back and gets me two fold for days and weeks and months on end. I beat myself up over being mean and ous. I am sorry I am such a confusing person to deal. It's confusing for me as.

I want to love, I want to be loved, I want the security of having a person that will always be there for me. I just don't know how to modify myself to make it fit.

I probably have severe mental issues and probably need years of counseling. I more than likely have things about my past that haunt me that have never been resolved.

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I probably don't know myself which causes me to not identify with others on a level that is women looking hot sex Manhasset Hills. I don't know I don't know what it is you want to know I will share, I will let you in It takes time, it takes questions, it takes understanding When told that I leave.

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